It’s so easy for people to get wrapped up in drama and not stay present. However, differentiating the truth from distortion helps you maintain a clear mind and a positive outlook on life. What is truth? Truth is stating the things you absolutely know to be the truth in a situation. Distortion on the other hand, is making up stories in our heads that don’t match up with these truth statements. It is crucial we replace our constant distortions with affirmations of the truth.
One example follows: “Sadie always ignores me; I must not be a good enough sister to get her attention.” This is total distortion! The truth is as follows: “There could be numerous reasons why Sadie isn’t talking to me and it has NOTHING to do with my worth. I am a daughter of God and am always good enough no matter what. I am responsible for myself and myself only.” That feels WAY better than the first version and this is what the truth is. At the end of the day, we all have infinite worth and any thought that tries to tell us the opposite is coming from the adversary.
It’s okay to have thoughts of distortion and it’s actually human nature to go right to the defensive side. However, it is up to us whether we let these thoughts linger or replace them with affirmations of the truth. Another example is as follows: “My roommate always takes my stuff. She doesn’t even respect me and things like this are always happening to me. Everyone walks all over me and I’m sick of it.” These sentences reflect living in shame. It is out option to look at ourselves like the target, but beating ourselves down is only dramatizing a story and being extremely unkind to ourselves. The truth is as follows: “I wonder if my roommate knows I don’t like her taking my stuff. I know this tends to happen a lot so I think I will politely ask her if she could ask next time. I can’t control so if she doesn’t change, so I will set boundaries to show love to myself. I know my worth and her taking my things has nothing at all to do with my personal worth.”
Speaking in truth is truly like a breath of fresh air! It increases your energy immensely and helps you think in the best mindset possible. I challenge you to replace those negative thoughts with what you know to be the truth in the situation. It’s crazy difficult, but so possible! If you continue to work and practice at it, it will soon become second nature!
There are typically four main distortions you can fall into the trap of.
- I am not enough
- I am not worthy
- I am unlovable
- My needs don’t matter
The truth is exactly opposite; you ARE all of those things! It is up to YOU however, to not give into these distorted thought patterns and instead CHOOSE to believe the truth!
The truth is:
- I am enough
- I am worthy
- I am lovable
- My needs do matter
Easier said than done, but if you continue to practice this thought pattern your life will change immensely. You will find yourself having more energy and truly wanting to help others with nothing in return. Why? Because you won’t need anything in return. You will be perfectly content in your own skin.
Validation is a human necessity in life in order to survive. All of us need it just as much as we need air to breath. We can seek this validation from friends, family and even acquaintances; however, you should not rely on these sources to tell you that you are good enough. Rather, it is crucial you take the time each day to give yourself validation. Why? Because at the end of the day YOU are the one responsible for loving yourself – no one else. While others can help uplift you, they can’t get inside your body and love yourself for you. Just as they can’t eat, drink or exercise for you – the same stands true with self-love.
When you feel validated, you are able to give more freely to others and in return validate those around you. Some may say “I feel uncomfortable when I give or others give compliments to me.” This is a sign of containing distorted thoughts and beliefs about yourself. This is common for a lot of people and if this is you, don’t stress just try practicing getting more comfortable believing the qualities you say or others say about yourself to be true.
When you are able to feel validated you will begin to not take certain circumstances so personally. I know I have struggled with this as I tend to take situations different than they really are because I am stuck in my pride. I can take things personal when they actually have nothing to do with me at all. The only way to get out of this pride cycle, is by stating in the truth. The main source of truth comes from validation affirmations. For example, suppose someone tells you that you have no future and it’s a shame you’re so old and not married; first off, it’s hard to see in the moment but anyone who says that is in complete shame of themselves and bouncing it onto you. It is important to stay in the truth and validate yourself, even if this means repeating in your head “I am a daughter of God and have infinite worth” 100 times, seriously! It takes a ton of practice and you will most likely feel like you’re going in and out of truth for a while, but I promise if you keep working at it it will soon feel like second nature.
I challenge you to write a list of things you love (or hope to) love about yourself by the end of the day. I find it helpful to write it on your phone or take a picture of it so you can refer back to it throughout the day. When you find yourself struggling or taking something personal or even if you need a little pick me up because hey we all need validation – read this list and BELIEVE it! Every son and daughter of God came to this earth with infinite worth. Just because you have made mistakes or messed up does NOT take away your infinite worth. Your worth is steady and does not change no matter what you do. Sorry, you’re stuck with being amazing! 😉 YOU are enough in all that you do and I can tell you that but it’s up to you whether you believe it for yourself! So work each day to install this principle of self-validation and I promise you it will become immensely worth it as you become the BEST version of YOU!
Seriously can’t get enough of this boutique! Not only is it unique – it’s also way affordable! Super stylish and head turning outfits that will make you stand out this Fall! Shop now at jongirlboutique.com and use the code HOLLY15 for 15% off!
All of us need to practice self-love, but how do we begin? Below is a list to help you get started.
- Write it Out: Write down five new things you love about yourself every day and constantly repeat those characteristics to yourself at least three times a day. A tip for this is repeating them every time you sit down to eat a meal, as this is a usual occurrence three times a day. When you repeat them to yourself, really BELIEVE them to be true no matter what the adversary may be trying to tell you at the time. I also find it helpful to write it on the notes in your phone so you have them with you at all times.
- Make Time for You: Life can get busy and it’s so easy to get wrapped up in school and work. However, it’s incredibly important you take time to do something YOU love every single day. For those of you with children feeling as though this is selfish, it’s actually the opposite. Your children will take note as they follow your example and grow to do the same acts of self-care for themselves. No matter how busy your life may be, it is always possible to carve out a little time each day for you – it’s just whether you’re willing to make it work.
- Spirituality: Whether you are an active Christian or simply just trying to figure life out, it is crucial you look to a supreme being for guidance each and every day. This will help you get into the truth of the fact that you are sent to this earth for a purpose and therefore have tremendous worth. Seek ways to grow this relationship each and every day; this may include scripture study, prayer, church, etc.
- Get Physical: It is important to take care of yourself physically in some way every day. This can be as simple as five crunches to five miles of sprints. Whatever you feel like your body needs that day. This can totally tie into making time for yourself too if something you love to do is an active activity.
- Practice Truth: Practicing truth each day is essential to not only staying out of unnecessary drama, but also to keep yourself grounded so you are more able to focus on your needs. This can be as simple as replacing a distorted thought like “Sam is always awful to me” into a truth statement such as “Sam must be having a hard day and taking it out on people. I wonder what I can do to help her.” Showing kindness to others reflects kindness to ourselves and vice versa. It is crucial we show ourselves love by respecting and showing love to those around us.
This is a starter list to help you get going on your daily journey of self-love. You are more than welcome to add more topics if you feel necessary as well. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out to me in the contact section if you have any questions or need further explanations! I challenge you to start this list today and by doing so you will begin to push yourself to become the best YOU starting with loving YOU!